I am about to turn 30, so what? So what? 30 is a big deal, a significant
birthday, if you will. And unfortunately, I have had difficulties with
significant birthdays in the past. Why? I don’t know!
20, 21, 25… at each of these birthdays I did some moping around and not much
soul searching. As I am just about a week away from the labeled “Big Day”, I am
realizing that I had a more difficult time turning 29, and dealing with the
anxiety of turning 30 ahead of me.
I thought turning 30 was going to be a devastating blow, for whatever reason,
but I can honestly say that I've had no sudden realization that it's time to
rework my life, to 'retake control' or make 'improvements'. I mean, sure, there
are things in my life that need improvements and definite ‘rework’ that could be
used (and I’m working on it), but isn’t that an ongoing process throughout one’s
entire life. In my 20’s I lived by certain ‘quotes’, and while I will continue
to encompass those, (ie: “Carpe diem”, “Just do it”) a few are added to my list,
such as “You’re only as old as you feel”, and “With age, comes wisdom”.
As I am approaching 30, I decided to stop ‘freaking out’ and evaluate myself
and my life. Over the past six months I’ve gotten more than my share of people
saying “Don’t worry about turning 30, you look great.”, “you look younger than
most people your age”, and “you are in better shape than most 20 year olds”. I
had to take a step back and think, “why is that the only advice I get? Does
everyone really think that is what I’m worried about?” Is it what I am worried
about? I guess I understand why those would be the comments and comfort that
people would offer me, given my lifestyle, and my obvious love of fitness and my
involvement in the industry. Was that really what the anticipation of being 30
was? I guess that was part of it, I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t. Yes, I stay
in good shape. Yes, I compete and do well in fitness. Yes, I stay on top of the
latest trends and hairstyles. Yes, I am in good health…But there is more. So I
challenged myself….What have I learned over the years? How have I grown as a
person? Which brings us to this bout of soul searching, which was long over due…
I’ve learned that as I’ve gotten older, I have become more comfortable in my
own skin.
I’ve learned that doing the right thing, means doing the right thing by my
standards, not someone else’s.
I’ve learned that I don’t have to settle. I have every day of my life to do
that… why do it today, or even tomorrow for that matter?
I've learned that you don't have to lie to avoid saying things that are
painful. It will just bite you in the ass in the end.
I've accepted that I am capable of doing whatever I put my mind to. And have
reaped the rewards and benefits to prove it.
I’ve learned that trust is one of the most significant aspects of any
relationship. And to lose it, usually means losing the relationship.
I've learned to accept the fact that I am worthy of significant relationships
in my life and I don't have to click to "self destruct" mode when things get
intense.
I’ve learned how to compromise without compromising myself in order to make
life easier or happier for other people.
I've learned that I don't have to be perfect. As long as I am healthy that
shows through and defines me more than anything.
I’ve learned that I am capable of independence.
I’ve learned that just because two people love each other, does not mean they
should be together.
I’ve learned that people need you to understand them more than they need you
to agree with them.
I’ve learned that being a good friend and have people depend on you is just
as comforting as having a good friend. And I’ve learned the importance of my
friendships.
I’ve learned that it is okay to ‘grow out’ of a relationship, whether it be
love, friendship or business related.
I’ve learned that people you love will hurt you. You need to make peace with
it, and move on.
I’ve learned that love does come when you least expect it.
Most of all I've learned to relish my family, my mom and dad and siblings.
Those people are invaluable.
I’m sure that there is more that I stumbled upon throughout the last few
years of my life, but I definitely don’t have all the answers. Maybe when I am
31 I will have all the answers - if not, at the very least, I know I will be
able to add to the previous list! What I do know is upon my reflection, mentally
and physically, I am very content with myself and my life thus far.
I’m turning 30… So what?! Bring it on… Carpe Diem!!
"It is not by muscle, speed, or physical dexterity that great things are
achieved but by reflection, force of character, and judgment; in these qualities
old age is usually not only not poorer, but is even richer."
– Cicero
